Warhammer 40,000 Battle Report: Astra Militarum vs Chaos 2000pts

Avatar Tabletop Tactics April 11, 202031  235 31 Likes

Chef tries out the new Studio Guard army against Beard’s insidious Chaos force centred around the foul Chaos Knights!

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The Army Lists are: 

Astra Militarum

++ Brigade Detachment ++

Regimental Doctrine: Diciplined Shooters and Gunnery Experts

Specialist Detachment: Emperor’s Wrath Artillery Company

+ HQ +

Company Commander: Warlord – Grand Strategist, Relic- The Laurels of Command, Power Sword, Laspistol

Company Commander: Imperial Commanders’ Armoury- Kurov’s Aquila, Power Sword, Laspistol

Tank Commander: Tank Ace- Master Mechanic, Executioner Plasma Cannon, Hull-mounted Lascannon, 2x Sponson Plasma Cannons Track Guards

+ Troops +

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

10x Infantry Squad:
Sergeant: Chainsword, Laspistol
7x Guardsman: Lasgun
Guardsman: Grenade Launcher
Guardsman: Vox-caster, Lasgun

+ Elites +

4x Command Squad:
Veteran: Lasgun
Veteran: Lasgun, Vox-caster
Veteran Weapon Team: Mortar

Master of Ordnance: Field Commander- Lord of Ordnance, Imperial Commanders’ Armoury- Agripinaa-Class Orbital Tracker

Platoon Commander: Chainsword, Laspistol

+ Fast Attack +

Hellhound: Inferno Cannon, Heavy Bolter

Hellhound: Inferno Cannon, Heavy Bolter

Hellhound: Inferno Cannon, Heavy Bolter

+ Heavy Support +

3x Basilisks: Earthshaker Cannon, Heavy Bolter

2x Leman Russ Battle Tanks: Demolisher Siege Cannon, Hull-mounted Heavy Bolter, 2x Sponson Heavy Bolters

Manticore: 4x Storm Eagle Rockets, Heavy Bolter

Manticore: 4x Storm Eagle Rockets, Heavy Bolter

Manticore: 4x Storm Eagle Rockets, Heavy Bolter

++ Total: 2,000pts ++

Chaos

++ Super-Heavy Detachment ++

Household: Iconoclast

+ Lord of War +

Knight Rampager: Warlord- Eager for the Kill, Relic- The Quicksilver Throne of Slaanesh, Reaper Chainsword,  Thunderstrike Gauntlet, Heavy Stubber

Knight Despoiler: Corrupted Heirloom- The Tyrant’s Banner, Avenger Gatling Cannon, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Heavy Flamer

Knight Despoiler: Dreadblade Pact- Daemonic Vigour, Dreadblade Damnations- Forsaken & Warp Fugue, Avenger Gatling Cannon, Thermal Cannon, Heavy Stubber, Heavy Flamer

War Dog: 2x War Dog Autocannons, Heavy Stubber

War Dog: 2x War Dog Autocannons, Heavy Stubber

++ Battalion Detachment++

Legion: Iron Warriors

+ No Force Org Slot +

2x Dark Disciple

+ HQ +

Dark Apostle: Prayer- Benediction of Darkness, No Chaos Mark

Sorcerer: Force word, Bolt Pistol, Powers- Infernal Gaze & Warptime, No Chaos Mark

+ Troops +

28x Chaos Cultists: No Chaos Mark
Cultist Champion: Autogun
27x Chaos Cultists: Autogun

6x Chaos Space Marines: No Chaos Mark
Aspiring Champion: Boltgun, Bolt Pistol
5x Chaos Space Marines: Boltgun, Bolt Pistol

6x Chaos Space Marines: No Chaos Mark
Aspiring Champion: Boltgun, Bolt Pistol
5x Chaos Space Marines: Boltgun, Bolt Pistol

++ Total: 1,997pts ++



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Hippypaul
Member
Hippypaul
4 months ago

I’m sure this is the first time I’ve ever paused a TTT video to make a comment. BEST intro ever!

Martin Šebesta
Martin Šebesta
5 months ago

New level of madness 🙂 I didn’t think you guys can take it any futher. You proved me wrong. And I’m so glad for it…
Keep up the great work. Both armies are amazing…

Alan Donnelly
Member
Alan Donnelly
5 months ago

Good news everybody El Beardo rocks

Altansar
Member
Altansar
5 months ago

Poor Chef!

Tuomas
Tuomas
5 months ago

Thanks for the game guys! Loved it, keep up the good work.

Optimisticpaint
Member
Optimisticpaint
5 months ago

Thanks for keeping up the excellent content guys! We all appreciate you hitting the gaming tables for us!
Would very much like to see an Imperial Knights vs Eldar Knights rumble. (I know Eldar knights aren’t in the strongest position right now, it’d be cool to see how they might be buffed to help some of those shortcomings)

BigGrim
BigGrim
5 months ago

Beard, never change man. Never. I want a game with you. It’d be bloody madcap!

Douglas Hohlfelder
Douglas Hohlfelder
5 months ago

Confused, asked already, but is this an older vid or is the band back together? Loved the intro!

raxoth
raxoth
5 months ago

Chef looks so tired and over it lol. Hang in there Chef.

Nicholas Lucas
Member
Nicholas Lucas
5 months ago

Epic Carnage, El Beardo I LOVE your Chaos Knights, they remind me of another absolute boss’ Chaos Knights. Stunning.

Thanks for the laughs and what you all do!

Jörn Stolzenberg
Jörn Stolzenberg
5 months ago

El Beardo Made my Day ! Happy Birthday Chef !

michael swain
michael swain
5 months ago

I didn’t laugh right up until

“can’t you stick them through the eye holls”-Bone
earnestly shaking his head “I already tried” – Beard
Jesus that is so dumb and funny.

p.s. Chef I am pretty sure after Bone laughed sinisterly about what he wants to do on your birthday he said he wanted to play Lawrence’s drukhari on his birthday and he wanted you to write the lists.

George Fava
Member
George Fava
5 months ago

I think El Beardo should face off against another masked character. Possibly El Bono? I think the Spider should referee since it looks like Chef has had his fill of our masked friend 🙂

Sebastian Flores
Sebastian Flores
5 months ago

Keep this amazing job. Really fun and love thar new guard army. Defenetly need a showcase.

Fabio Testa
Fabio Testa
5 months ago

Epic beard!!

Andrew Davis
Member
Andrew Davis
5 months ago

That was a great game! We need a Beard Vs El Beardo game to see who rolls the most 1s 😜
Also I don’t think I have ever seen Chef look so defeated due to shenanigans!

GrottyFan001
GrottyFan001
5 months ago

My favorite Batrep yet. 😂

Garth.Million
Garth.Million
5 months ago

So stoked to see this beautiful Guard army on the tabletop. Thanks for that gents!

Minor rules quibble: demolisher cannon is only heavy D3, not D6 (unless its being fired at a unit with 5 or more models)

Cheers!

Si
Member
Si
5 months ago

Thanks! El Beardo… I have sprained my spleen laughing at this batrep!

Christian Engø
Christian Engø
5 months ago

BEARD! Where is your beard!?

Aaron Rogers
5 months ago

One of the best openings. Ever. Brother!

Nicholas Lucas
Member
Nicholas Lucas
5 months ago

BROTHER.

UseLess
Member
UseLess
5 months ago

El Beardo’s knights look fantastic, the Red Queen in particular! I really thought that the puny humans were on the backfoot after that strong turn one from El Beardo, but alas, the knights fell to all that artillery. Great battle report and even better entertainment.

Coltfusion
Coltfusion
5 months ago

Thank you so much for El Beardo in this battle report! I never normally watch the list introductions because they go on a bit too long for me but this was just pure comedy gold!

Thanks again guys, hope you’re all staying safe!

Paul Shobrook
Member
5 months ago

Forget John 3:16, El Beardo 3:16 says Chef just whooped my candy ass !!! Gimmie a Hell Yeah !!

Stu
Stu
5 months ago

You ok Chef? Almost feels like this batrep will be presented in court as evidence one day : ) “well your honor, clearly the defendant was driven to the alleged double homocide”

As always thanks for the great content gents.

Toohat
Toohat
5 months ago

Im just gonna throw this one out there.
El Beardo….vs…..The Slyth!!

Also…what kind of bet did Lawrence lose to allow this? I love it!!

Björn Karlsson
Björn Karlsson
5 months ago

I… just… what happened? I laughed so hard! xD
Great game. Would love to see the wredtling match between El Beardo and Bone, sadly El Beardo ran away at the end. 😀

William
Member
5 months ago

El Beardo is the greatest athlete to ever grace the international sports scene.

Killershrub
Killershrub
5 months ago

Great Battle Report!

Todd Coker
Member
Todd Coker
5 months ago

Omg lmao!!!! I died laughing. Thanks guys Beardo ftw!!!

Maeglin
Member
Maeglin
5 months ago

Awesome game guys. Chef we still love you.

I was going to say I’d love to see El Beardo face Lawrence but I’ve a strange feeling he’d disappear and La Araña would take his place!

Rozh Sadon
Rozh Sadon
5 months ago

This is the greatest thing ever to happen to a TT battle report, brother!

Grimdark_Legends
Grimdark_Legends
5 months ago

This was just fantastic. Thank you guys!

danielxreynolds
danielxreynolds
5 months ago

El Beardo…..why wouldnt you throw the leman russ at the manticore that was only on 2 wounds left? Chef just re rolled the explosion to keep it alive because he said it was 6″ away and didnt want the explosion to kill it hahaha.

chaoticflanagan
Member
5 months ago

I love all of you. Everything about this is amazing!

Archmike
Member
Archmike
5 months ago

NOW YOU LISTEN UP JABRONY!! EL BEARDO IS GONNA TAKE THAT LEMAN RUSS! He’s gonna turn it sideways….. AND SHOVE IT UP YO’ CANDY ASS!! An dhe’s gonan do it in front of the millions AAAAAAAAND MILLIONS of El Beardo’s fans!
and that’s the bottom line! Because El Beardo SAID SO!
Now what do you think about that??
WHAT??
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!
OOOOOOH YEAH!! All you guys that want to see more EL Beardo gimme a HELL YEAH!

El Beardo 3:16

Dylan Keller
Dylan Keller
5 months ago

Chef why do you hate fun?

zane badgett
zane badgett
5 months ago

Chef! Loved seeing this take on Guard list. Fantastic game!

DelinquentBunny
DelinquentBunny
5 months ago

Anybody else hoping for El Chefo next week?

Dunk
Dunk
5 months ago

LOVE THIS> classic

Bastian Birkholz
Bastian Birkholz
5 months ago

Hey El Beardo, where did u get the bits for those avenger gattling guns?

greenman1
greenman1
5 months ago

El Beardo isn’t the hero we need in these dark times. He’s the hero we deserve.

Alex Andersson
Alex Andersson
5 months ago

Oh dear lets hope El Beardo makes a shorter visit next time and gets back to his true calling of the ring.

mekugi
Member
mekugi
5 months ago

That opening tune is, so, EPIC!

Zelun
Zelun
5 months ago

So we know Spider could beat most things in the 40k universe manno-a-manno, but could he take on El Beardo? I say no! El Beardo for president!

Thee85
Member
Thee85
5 months ago

Earlier this week I said that the intro to the Grey Knight vs Eldar tactica report was the best ever. Little did I know that EL BEARDO was waiting!

Jamess9
Member
Jamess9
5 months ago

That was amazing
Thank you
*kisses you all individually on the forehead*

Noah Bergman
Member
Noah Bergman
5 months ago

Yup, loved it. Instant classic. Mark another vote for The Return of El Beardo!

Steele Tarkus
Steele Tarkus
5 months ago

Raptors are great. El Beardo is too much.